Mar 25
2009

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

Our work resiliency is being severely tested these days. A couple of interesting findings from a recent national survey:

- More than 50 percent of employees across the country worry nearly three hours a day about their job security.

- 76 percent of respondents said their boss staying behind closed doors may unwittingly trigger thoughts of impending layoffs. When asked how often they think a boss’ closed door signals possible lay-offs, 43 percent of respondents said “often” or “always.”

During these stormy economic days, many of us are just trying to keep our heads down and grind through the workday waiting for a better and resilient tomorrow.

I read an article recently about a couple of resilient strategies to ease our job worries. They have worked for me and may help you in these stressful times:

- The surprising cure for job stress: Schedule one more weekly work meeting and communicate with your supervisor. The current daily avalanche of headlines about layoffs can give even rock-solid employees like you job jitters.

You can’t change what researchers call the “collective uncertainty about the future,” but you can book a meeting with your supervisor to discuss the company’s goals and define your role in achieving them. Research shows that clearly defined goals make workers happier and healthier. 

- Then, begin exercising on a routine basis. You see, those who exercise perform better at work than sedentary people. One study looked at people under extreme stress and time constraints. It was clear those who took the time away from work to exercise regularly were better at attaining personal satisfaction, and significant improved their work productivity and resilience.

Why does that work? Even though I have a physical disability, I try to exercise at least 20 minutes a day – or about the same amount of time to go your local coffee shop and buy a large cappuccino.

Studies show physically active people process data faster, and they’re more likely to have less stress or to handle it better than chair-bound types. Workouts help your mind relax, so it’s a better incubator for new ideas and solutions. As one study subject said, “Running gives me a body that performs better at everything that I must do during the day.” Even if your job is secure, why pass up the chance to be at the top of your game all day long?

So, in the next week, just try three things for your emotional and physical health:

1)  Schedule a meeting with your supervisor and discuss priorities during these hard times.

2)  Exercise at least 20 minutes every-other-day.

3) Smile as often as you can.

 I virtually guarantee you will see very positive resilient results to will positively help your stress levels at work and in all facets of your life.

 

 

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Mar 18
2009

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

No matter how successful we become in life, all of us must deal with life and career setbacks – great and small. Examples might include losing a job, ending a long-term personal relationship, losing a loved one, or being shut down by your boss after presenting “the next greatest idea” at work.

We cannot get around it: Sooner or later all of us will face an opportunity to test our personal and professional resiliency. To successfully adapt to such moments, I have learned we must show some patience and understanding – in ourselves.

From personal experience of recently losing my dream job because of the country’s economic mess , I just wanted to get back “in the game” without worrying about my emotions. Because of being a gamer, I forgot to deal with the emotional loss in a much more thoughtful way.

I felt so much personal pain thinking that if only I would have… Or, why didn’t I do this or that… Instead, I needed to rationally look at what I needed to do next. After I realized this, and thought through the grief stages below, I saw how successful I am and will stay in the future. That is one of the main reasons I began this blog: To share my resiliency successes and offer you a chance to tap into yours. I also have begun my own corporate communications consulting business, including being a motivational speaker on career and life resiliency. It has been very interesting so far!

While emotions cannot always be seen, they always can be felt by those of us experiencing pain or loss. I wanted to just jump back into life rather than thinking through the typical stages of grief. Finally, I looked through Dr. Kubler-Ross’ five stages of grief and I began to recover my confidence and resiliency to move forward.

If you are going through a setback right now – large or small – I’d suggest you think about the following grief stages and face what I did. When you shed all the layers away, I found that life is very special and we cannot worry about things out of your control.

Here are Kubler-Ross’ grief stages that has helped me recover my confidence to near-normal levels: 

  • Denial (this isn’t happening to me!)
  • Anger (why is this happening to me?)
  • Bargaining (I promise I’ll be a better person if…)
  • Depression (I don’t care anymore)
  • Acceptance (I’m ready for whatever comes)

As I’ve said in previous posts, life is full of ups and downs. How we react to challenges will determine the scope – and for how long – it will takes to recover. Once I realized this and faced up to the grief stages, the faster it took my to recover from my tearful loss.

Now it is your turn. Please use my lesson the next time the door shuts for you. Because remember: It will always open to a side better and more prosperous.

Until next time my friends…



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Mar 10
2009

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

Trying to avoid sweating the small stuff has always been a stumbling block for me in my life and career. How about you? My resilience gets sidetracked when I worry about every little thing. When I do this, it sometimes derails my resilience effectiveness in more important matters at home, work, or with friends.

As I have mentioned, all of us want total control of our lives. But sweating the small stuff ultimately allows you even less control of things within your reach.

An example for me is when my highly organized lifestyle gets in the way of my success. When I see co-workers, friends or family not as organized and precise, I feel nervous and want to intercede. A personal example is my daughter ‘s not-so-organized (O.K., messy) bedroom, activity room and bathroom. I want to run in and straighten and clean everything up on a daily basis.

The problem: She would see me as too fussy at the very least, or down right weird/intruding at the extreme. In the relative scheme of things, my daughter’s organizational habits are the small stuff I am talking about.

What I have done to keep my resilience on an even keel (and not challenge my daughter-dad relationship) is defining a couple basic rules for my 14-year old. She must straighten and clean her rooms once a week with an ultimate visit from me. A set allowance and other privileges are in the balance if she does not take such rules seriously.

It has worked well and has allowed me to concentrate on more important “stuff” in my life. Now, I just have to stop dusting my new 2008 GT Mustang (California Style) every five minutes – well, maybe every ten minutes. We’ll see how that goes…

Please think of a “small sweat item” you’d not like to worry about less. Then, develop one or two strategies on how to effectively handle the situation. Please let me know how you come out.

Please stay tuned for more of my resilient examples this week. I look forward to our continuing conversation.



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Mar 6
2009

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

In this time of constantly negative headlines and challenging economic news around the country, all of us need to look inside ourselves for strength.

That’s why we need to seize “our” day and remember the strengths and values we bring to the table every day – with our families, friends, co-workers and especially ourselves.

Please think through how you can seize positively through your day. Here is an example how I have successfully traversed though challenges. I will add a new example each day this week. Many of these all of us share, and we can learn from each other.

When I was younger, I wanted to be in control of everything in my life and seize every moment of the day. This sounds great, doesn’t it? It is only natural we want to be in control of all aspects of our lives. I found, though, that I was expending so much energy trying to be in total control that I was losing my resilience edge.

There were just some things I could not control totally at work, home and life in general that were reducing my resilience on things I could ultimately control.

I thought, for example, I was in control of my work life. I was doing great, with fantastic reviews, an “essential” tag placed on me, terrific compensation and much admiration of my peers throughout the company. There, of course, was the awful recent downturn in the economy, but I thought my exemplary performance would keep me in control of my fate. Man, did I have a lot to learn…

Within a matter of a few months of being “essential,” I became expendable no matter how much effort expended and control I thought I had. With no fault of the company, it had to cut to the bone including me. The lesson for me was there are some things – great and small – out of a person’s total control.

I hoped this would be my last company I would ever work for. I found you can never feel totally secure even with an A+ work performance record.

I have moved on to have success in many other areas, including resiliency training. I have adapted my control definition, and stayed in personal control of being strong, nimble and resilient. That is, continuing to seize every moment of the day in a slightly more realistic way.

Being nimble, adaptable – and more realistic - in all circumstances will allow you to stay resilient, in control and seize your day. Please think of one aspect of your life you feel vulnerable. Then, ponder how you would adapt and seize the day if an unexpected challenge happened to you. This will help you stay on top of being career and life resilient.

Tomorrow: How sweating the small stuff can interrupt your day…

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