By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net
With all of Tiger Woods golfing prowess, he credits his father for teaching that talent, effort and sometime brilliance can only take a person so far in life. His father told him the most important part in any life equation is “believing in yourself.” Tiger has said – like any of us – the belief in himself has not always been there for him 100 percent of the time.
As a person who was recently laid off from my dream job and is now successfully starting a resiliency speaking and writing business, I find this very encouraging. Tiger has been so successful yet his mind can also play a number with him…
As all of us struggle through this economic mess worldwide, your self-belief can make the total difference between pulling the sheets over your head in the morning, or believing that your talent and creativity will help keep/find the job you may be worried about right now.
There are many external factors – like being laid off – that can puncture a hole in your belief. There, however, is only one way you can control how others see you – by showing the resilience and strong spirit that allows you to successfully navigate through these chaotic times.
I admit that sometimes I am an idealist. I, for one, have had moments in my life where my belief in myself is nearly non-existent. The only way I can move forward from these moments is focusing my energies on my strengths, understanding my will to succeed, stop sweating the small stuff, and allowing myself to stretch and, yes, sometimes fail. Believing in yourself can be unimaginably hard and none of us can be a “rock” all the time. If you understand that you might fail once in awhile, the belief will give you the strength to overcome whatever you want changed in your life.
Stretching: Stretching yourself can mean many things in your personal or professional life. For me, personally, it is believing that I will be able to walk my whole life. This, despite my life-long physical disability (Cerebral Palsy) that is making me a bit more fragile as I celebrate being 50 this year. As I sometimes literally fall, I must keep believing that walking without some type of aid is still possible long term. Friends and family think this is a bit of a stretch – even though they have my very best interests in their heart. But if I don’t keep believing in myself, I am likely to see my walking independence reduced or eliminated as I age.
While there is nothing wrong with aids, my belief has stubbornly kept me walking without a cane or even a wheelchair. I look for ways to adapt and keep myself from teeter-tottering unnecessarily.
While I still have my falls and visit the pavement, I give you this personal example to offer a moment for you to reflect: How are you doing maintain your belief in yourself? What ways will you use keep believing even if you encounter a few bumps in the road?
No More Sweats: I recently heard anecdotal information that nearly everyone in a workplace could be at least 20 percent more efficient if they would avoid sweating the small stuff typically out of a person’s control. Such things like the challenging habits of a co-worker, the company policies that only give lip service to real work/life balance, or the boss that spends more time worrying about image rather than substance.
Most all of us have been in these situations, and they can truly derail the belief in your resilient self. Instead of spending more time developing your strengths, you might be spending 20 percent dealing with such “small things” that you can’t ultimately control anyway.
You can’t avoid such nonsense totally – especially at work – but you can minimize your time/reaction by not using unnecessary to try to change them. The boss I had many years ago who was more style than substance could not be changed. Yet, I spent time trying to find ways to wake him up or at least move him closer to center. I had no luck on all counts but this effort hurt the perception of myself because I truly believed I could make it right.
Will: You have to want to believe in yourself. I have met many good folks that don’t understand their strengths, their personal and professional contributions, or just how resilient they are in life. I’m sure you have met a few folks like this, too.
Any of us can point to circumstances and say, “This is the reason I don’t have self-confidence moving forward.” I say to those folks that they need to step back, reassess the positives they bring to this world and have the will to successfully deal with the great days as well as the ones that don’t go quite as well. I contend that your will should not be used as a way to get the next next big thing – 100 inch big-screen TV or that supped-up sports car that has “You” written all over it.
I think you need to reign in the will a bit and focus on using your immense talents to “believe” – believe in yourself, believe in your resilient attitude and, most importantly, believe that you have the opportunity to make this world a much better place with your presence. How will you use your will to believe in yourself?
Tiger and all of us can serve ourselves more resiliently if we could consistently remember a slightly altered Martin Luther King phrase, “Believe at last, believe at last and, most importantly, believe at last!”
Thanks, again, for visiting my resiliency site and reading this article. Please just let me know if you have any comments or you’d like me to focus on additional resiliency topics. Take Care…
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