You unfortunately did not receive that deserved promotion or increase in pay at your company. A supposed friend decides to end your 10-year relationship with an e-mail message saying out-of-the-blue, “We have nothing in common anymore.” Your teenage kids are having too many “teen moments” testing your sanity and patience. Your boss tells you today that layoffs will be happening soon including your position.
Those Inevitable Potholes
Life is definitely full of potholes in our world, and I suppose (once or twice) you’ve asked yourself, “Why Me.” I’ve also been through similar obstacles i my life, and I always remember something my Dad told me when I was young: “Never hang your head and focus on the things you can truly control in life.”
For me, this was my attitude when I was younger – I will be turning 50 next month. You see, in addition to all the typical challenges in life, I also had to deal with something not so usual – a lifelong physical disability known as Cerebral Palsy. The disability affects – sometimes significantly – my walking, balance and the right side of my body.
I don’t bring my disability up to tap into your empathy. Some of you may have life challenges more significant than I could imagine. I do bring up my life history because I still sometimes say “Why Me” as I unfortunately trip and hit my head on an unforgiving floor, or my back seizes up if I don’t treat it with “kid gloves.”
Reacting to Inevitable Life Moments
Wow! All of us have our crazy life moments, but my true success in life is how I react from those inevitable obstacles of my disability, a previous job layoff, or humbly starting my successful resiliency speaking biz. Do I pity myself? Do I think my life and career are too much? Do I retreat into an inner safe zone and not come out? Do I make my able-bodied wife, daughter and other loved ones help me unnecessarily?
Getting Back in the Game
No!!! I have rarely hung my head…I have dusted myself off and, to quote a famous Frank Sinatra lyric, “Got back in the game.” This is definitely easier said than done. The pain and heartache you may be going through with your own life challenges could be immense. “A distant connection of mine said he did not want to get out of bed anymore after enduring many, many months of trying to find a new job.
As I mentioned to him, if you are at that point, please see a professional to help guide you through. As I learned with my disability, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. My family and friends have helped me muster even more courage to make a difference and very humbly show the world my unique gifts and talents.
Stopping the Excuse “Merry-Go-Round”
All of us can make excuses, and I especially used the words “I can’t” a lot when I was growing up with a difference in a “normal” society. My parents, again, came to my aid saying, “Never use the words ‘I can’t’ despite the challenges you face every day.” I have never forgotten their words – although inevitably I fall off the “I can’t” bandwagon once in awhile. For you, please don’t worry about things that have happened. Nothing can change a lost relationship, lost job or in the less-than-resilient way you have felt about yourself in the past.
What you can control – and what have found so reassuring – is your resilient attitude to move on and use the values you were taught to overcome, really, anything. If I had let the challenges of my disability consume me, I would not have a very successful 25-year marriage or great career including a very successful resilience speaking business today. I am so gratified that more than 20,000 of you are reading my resiliency blog worldwide on a monthly basis. My family and business have helped allow me to stay resilient and keep believing in myself. I am so fortunate!!!
I have turned my disability into a lifelong, resilient learning experience for me in this sometimes unforgiving but wonderful world. Please view your own unique life circumstances as opportunities for you to do things a bit different and open the true potential of the next stage of your life. I found that I could do it, and I know you can be as fortunate and successfully continue your very rewarding resilient journey!
Take care until next week. Thanks, again, for your continued comments and terrific support as we share a few valued resilient minutes with each other…
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