By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

As we look at our lives at the end of 2010, do we truly know how lucky most of us are? As I’ve done many times in my life, I don’t always appreciate the great times, family, friends and especially myself.

While these are very challenging economic times for so many, it still can be a dilemma. Do we like our jobs or even ourselves when things get tough?

A recent employment survey suggested that nearly 50 percent of those who still have jobs in this economy are dissatisfied with their work – a large percentage of these even hate their jobs.. More than 50 percent said they also don’t find their jobs interesting. Additionally, nearly 45 percent of workers do not feel secure about their jobs.

In these tragic times – with more than 8 million good folks laid off – the cynical conclusion to these findings is that workers don’t realize how blessed they are to receiving a steady paycheck. Fortunately, I am not a cynic and realize there are many underlying resilient reasons workers are dissatisfied apart from the challenging world we live in today.

Many of us have had to be extremely resilient as our jobs have evaporated over the last year because of heartbreaking circumstances. Workers, however, are going through similar stress because much more is being expected of them through company layoffs, while others are having their hours cut severely as cost-savings measures at companies.

The bottom line: All of us are in this resilient journey together. This is where our confidence can be the absolute key in continuing the belief in each of us.

Maintaining a baseline of confidence in good and not so good times is THE most important resiliency/adaptability factor that allows me – and you – to continue our work and life everyday.

Yes, incomes have not kept up with inflation. Yes, the soaring cost of health insurance has eaten into our take home pay. Yes, we are still losing far too many jobs to feel totally confident about comparable work again or keeping our jobs in the long-term.

If I read this survey 12 months again when I was initially laid off, I would have said to respondents, “Get over it…you are at least employed.” But now that I’ve carved out a new career as a very humble and successful resilient speaker/consultant, there are so many issues all of us have to think about – employed or not.

What is really disturbing about the growing job dissatisfaction is the way it can play into the competitive nature of our workforce down the road. The survey also found less workers like each other than just a year before and the trend does not seem to be slowing down. This does not bode well for work teamwork in the future.

I truly believe that this “new economy” will force us to think even more about looking out for #1 – ourselves. There’s definitely a true need to look out for #1, but many work environments depend on sharing ideas and adapting for the common good. Will this irrevocably harm our work relationships – and, ultimately our work success?

Too often in the future, our inner and outward resiliency will be critically tested as we navigate through such potentially turbulent work currents.

As I reach 51 soon, life has always had its moments where I’ve wanted to shut the world out because I’ve momentarily lacked the confidence to move forward.

In addition to everyday work challenges, this also has been because I had just tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and fallen. (My balance is sometimes affected by my lifelong physical disability – Cerebral Palsy.) Or, I just had a conversation with my 14-year-old daughter that I knew could have gone better.

All of us have such issues – great and small – we face everyday. They can truly affect the confidence in ourselves.  Such survey findings may affect how we view our “new” workplace – even after the economy gets revved up again. Always focusing on #1 can have its disadvantages in adapting to such new paradigms.

I, however, suggest we don’t let such surveys sour us on the possibilities of our job we have right now, or the ones waiting for us just around the next corner. While we have to face the sometimes-sobering realities of the workplace, the resilience we have and the confidence in ourselves will successfully move us past these momentary challenges.

Please just continue to understand your strengths and confidence in yourself at work – despite the possible trends highlighted by any surveys. While all of us have gone through dissatisfied moments in our life, never stay dissatisfied with your most important asset – you!

Stay strong and resilient, my friends. Until next week…happy New Year!

By Steve Beseke, steve.beseke@resiliencyfirst.com

With nearly 3 million hits on this site worldwide, I have truly appreciated and been humbled by all of your resilient support since beginning the blog last year.

To provide you with more timely resilient info, I will be launching a fantastic updated site with the same address by year’s end. I have worked with my good friend and award-winning web developer Dave Meyer of bizzyweb.com to enhance the site’s every day value to you.

Besides my on-going free resilient articles, I will be offering resilient e-books for a nominal price, videos and other resilient collateral that might make your day happier and just a bit less stressful. My videos were created by another great friend and award-winning videographer Edie French of idream.tv. I highly recommend Edie and Dave for your web and video needs.

I also encourage you to look at my new presence on Facebook and Twitter under the resiliency first banner by early next year.

Additionally, I would appreciate subscribing to my enhanced blog site for free to keep up-to-date on “everything resilient” in our worlds.

I hope you have a wonderful, restful and resilient holiday season!

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

“Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.” Margaret Cousins, Author

One day. 24 hours. 1,440 minutes. 86,400 seconds. As you break down the day further and further, there definitely seems more time to appreciate our own unique world.

As we celebrate Thanksgiving week in the U.S., I’d like to resiliently ask:

“What are you most appreciative or thankful in your life?”

I fully understand “appreciation” and “thankful” can be very personal, but please post your comments or send me a private e-mail at beseke1@earthlink.net. I will post these – anonymous, of course – in a future article on this site.

For me, I truly appreciate the ability to still walk despite increasing challenges caused by my lifelong physical disability (Cerebral Palsy). Walking is definitely becoming harder as I near age 51, but I thank God for every moment he let’s me continue to take a step forward.

All of us appreciate different things in our day and life. What do you appreciate?

Take care and I hope you are having a very resilient day!

Image Attribution: http://www.flickr.com/photos/linhngan/3479743029/

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlin.net

As we recently celebrated Veteran’s Day for another year, I want to thank all the veterans past and present for keeping our country and world safe from anarchy.

In thinking about this, I see such a connection with the first frustrating days of WWII to the resilient challenges many of us face in these very challenging economic days we are continuing to face. Pearl Harbor had just been bombed and Hitler was overrunning Europe. FDR famously said that we cannot worry about the 10 catastrophes of the moment, but focus on solving one critical issue at a time.

In the Japanese campaign, that meant trying to bomb the home Japan islands in some way. Eventually this led to the iconic Doolittle Raid that bomber Tokyo in mid- 1942.

I don’t mean to teach a wonderful historical lesson, but focusing on one issue at a time does play n our current lives every day.

To effectively deal with my career and life ups and downs, I periodically ask myself this resiliency question: What is the one thing that makes me the happiest about myself for that particular moment?

- Is it something great I have accomplished at work?

- Is it that I remembered to kiss my beautiful wife when I got up in the morning?

- Is it that I effectively handled a typical challenge from my teenage daughter?

- Is it that I thought positive things about myself that day without sweating the small stuff?

Just like in WWII, in which my father served, all of the world’s ills could not be solved at once. It took a concerted plan to accomplish particular tasks at certain times that made the true difference.

I have found our career and life resiliency today is more than just dealing with the big things in life all at once – a death of a family member, losing one’s job or dealing with many other family or work situations. It is more about the smaller, individual tasks we do everyday that make us feel good about ourselves and able to adapt successfully when unforeseen events happen.

I’ve also found, as our fathers, grandfathers and great grandfathers did in WWII, that focusing on one objective at a time would eventually lead to success – however you define it.

Take me, for example. My objective initially – after being laid off from a corporate communications executive position last year because of he economy – was finding one way to use my writing and speaking skills in a slightly different method. One strategy, one goal and one objective. After this, then I could move to solving other issues exposed by the lay off, such as keeping my confidence at least on an even keel or stop worrying so much about my lifelong physical disability (Cerebral Palsy).

As you ready to deal with your life and career challenges, I suggest not take on all of them on at once. I’ve definitely learned from past missteps. This time, I wanted to give myself a “healthier” alternative. I eventually came up with one plan to start to write and talk about career and life resiliency worldwide.

This maybe seemed like a long shot for success, but my single purpose has enabled my to find a second, very humbling career as a resiliency thought leader around the world – making a fair living and extremely happy from it. I am so lucky that this web site has been visited by more than 2 million of you. One action at a time can make the ultimate difference for me – and you.

My resiliency challenge for you this week is to do ONE life or career action that makes you happy, which has been off your radar screen for awhile. Maybe it is kissing your spouse or actually having a meaningful conversation with one or all of your children. Or it may be helping a co-worker with a work project even though you are not assigned to do it. These are actions within your control and are easily doable if only you give a small portion of your time and stick with it.

Over time, achieving such single actions will help build the resiliency and inner-feeling of good inside you when dealing with things not always within your control. And when times don’t go exactly your way.

Look what single actions like the WWII Doolittle Raid did for the morale of a nation. While not to the same global degree, are you ready to achieve your dreams by accomplishing one action at a time?

I’d love to hear from you and how you chose your particular action. How did it go and did you begin feeling that inner-sense of good? I suggest choosing one item like this per week, and you will begin to see the total sense of resiliency you build up moving forward.

Take care my friends and thanks so much for your continued support!

Image Attribution: http://www.flickr.com/photos/fdecomite/402499198/

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

Have you ever asked yourself…

How can I become more successful in life? How can I believe in myself just a little bit more? What ways can I use to stay persistent? Why do I feel helpless sometimes at work, looking for work or in your personal relationships? What techniques can I use to keep my confidence and resilience at least on an even keel?

If so, you are part of a growing club called the human race. There is nothing wrong with you, and eventually you find the right path to your next resilient moment – if you give life a chance.

I was thinking about this recently after just smacking my chin against my garage floor, which required stitches. My lifelong physical disability offers me these learning moments to reflect…

Then, I remembered that every single one of us has such resilient moments – in one way or another. You see: All of us are inherently resilient 24 hours a day. In saying this, there are moments in my life that I’ve just wanted to bury my head, cruise off to a south sea island and not worry about the every day craziness of life.

When was the last time you wanted to bury your head personally or professionally? Be honest…probably not so long ago? And , guess what: That is absolutely human and absolutely fine.

When I’ve had such moments, my inner resilience voice (that we all have) has spoken very softly but firmly saying: “Steve, you are not going to get through this challenge unless you understand that life is much more than being a good worker, good father or being good husband. A resilient life is about being good to myself and learning from missteps I have made in my career and personal life. And then bouncing back from these setbacks to become even stronger.

Such challenges may not have been of your doing. I was born with my disability and have usually adapted successfully to all it challenges through 50+ years. Now, walking is becoming a bit harder and feeling good about myself – with all the questions I asked earlier – is sometimes not always there initially.

As you think through your life/career actions, I’m sure you agree that sometimes being good and truly understanding yourself is really your hardest life accomplishment.

Take me: When I literally trip and fall because my disability has made my back seize up, this is when I need to use my inner courage to dust myself off and move forward again. When I have not been as patient with someone (including myself) as I should be, I have to remember how lucky I am to have such great friends and colleagues at my side. When I have disappointed myself because I did not properly gauge the best course of action, I have to remember that I am not perfect and my next decisions will determine how I successfully move forward.

How do you react to those inevitable moments with yourself?

As I write to you today, I have received many comments about how you are thinking the same types of things. You may not know which way to turn, and some have very humbly said that my words and speeches have stopped them from veering off to more hazardous roads.

As we answer those initial questions, we also must ask: Are we truly good to ourselves and others, how are we teaching our kids societal values that will help them succeed, etc., etc. Do we know how? I suggest that uch questions are at the resilient core of what all of us should be focusing in life.

We all live our resiliency every day, but I feel it takes a bit of extra reflection to make sure our resiliency – in highly stressful times – stays at least on an even keel. As I try to do, I suggest you reflect on what goals and values are truly important to you. Is it work? Is it your personal life? Is it both?

To be successful at long-term resiliency, the desire for me to stay successful in business is important, but the last few months have shown me that the success I have as a father, husband and friend and more importantly liking myself are more critical.

What about you? How are you being truly successful in your world?

Life has been extremely challenging for many of us during this Great Recession. Nerves have become frayed, some dreams have been put on hold, and personal relationships have sometimes shattered because of the unabridged stress we have found in these uncertain times. But I suggest that nothing is as important as asking and truly understanding your answers to the questions I have posed throughout this piece.

I am definitely not an idealist, but I have come to realize that 24-hour-day resiliency is not something you can take for granted in any way. Not many of us will be remembered for our profession in life. Instead, folks will most likely think of us for the good person that we are, the values we teach our children and the resilient way we relate to all people.

So, the next time you have one of those unimaginably hard days, please give  yourself a chance to re-think the life questions all of us ask once in awhile. This will give you the extra gumption to move on…no matter the menagerie of life’s obstacles that get in your way.

Take care, and I will talk with you next week…

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

As I continue to talk with so many of you worldwide, there’s no doubt that these unyielding economic times are forcing many of us to sometimes go outside our comfort zone to find a new great work adventure, or even keep sane in the job we have right now. That’s definitely not all bad and may actually open paths that we did not know were there.

Take the art of networking, for example. Meeting individuals – sometimes strangers – for coffee or lunch to ultimately try to find a new job or better one can be daunting. Why can’t we just answer an ad in the newspaper, go in for the one interview and more than likely get the job.

While I was born in the era of June and Ward Cleaver, I know that those newspaper ads and one interviews times definitely went out with Disco music.

The old real estate Location saying can be applied in a new career way: Networking, Networking and Networking…

You’ve seen those national surveys highlighting our fears in life. Usually, the #1 fear at work or school is talking in front of large groups. Right behind on this list of torture seems to be the notion of networking with people after you’ve been downsized, laid off or are just looking for a better position.

Most of us have been there at some point in our careers and networking to find that next great position is not always easy at first. Yes, you hear that nine out of 10 jobs today are found through this Twighlight Zone term. But what is networking and how can you use it to your absolute resilient advantage whether you are employed or not.

Firstly, a little about me. I am an introvert. I don’t hold up in my office afraid to meet anybody, but I must recharge my batteries every so often when I need to put on my mask of extroversion. Networking, by definition, takes a fully-charged battery. But, unlike the art of great public speaking, networking is not just for those utterly confident in their message and delivery. I was once told that networking is for only those who can “magically” talk about themselves, able to  confidently meet strangers at a coffee shop or through e-mail, and can only be mastered by extroverts.

This is absolutely wrong, and I am a very successful introverted example.

While I love all my extroverted friends, I am here to tell you that networking can work great even for those of us who are less “magically” inclined. Plain and simple: Networking is just meeting people to discuss potential common interests.

When I came back to my home state of Minnesota a number of years ago from Chicago, I did not have a job and had few connections. Within a reasonable period of time, I found a great non-advertised job through networking. Because of my effort, I was working for one of the respected companies in the world.

This was back before Linkedin, Facebook or Twitter to help the networking process.

Whether you are an introvert like me or an extrovert, the key is you need to see the value of meeting people and not be afraid to do it.

It was quite scary at first for me. In addition to being an introvert, I also had a physical disability (Cerebral Palsy) that made me more shy in meeting people – especially strangers.

And now that I run my own resiliency writing, speaking and consulting business, networking is even more important.

Here is how I successfully networked, and how it can be applied today for your next great work adventure.

- I happened to belong to an industry association when returning from Chicago. I looked up on their web site the e-mail addresses of more than 400 members and separately e-mailed all of them saying, “I’m in the process of looking for a new position and would appreciate your advice and counsel as I look for my next fantastic place to work.” Everyone loves to give advice and I received more than 150 e-mails from members saying they would help me. More than 100 said they would enjoy personally meeting me at a coffee shop or restaurant to discuss my needs.

- It sounds too easy but it works if you follow a few simple rules.

1. Never ask them for a job, but provide them with a statement of the work you are looking for and a resume they can look through. If they have something, you’ll hear about the position. Networking, initially, is to get to know the person so they remember you when a position crosses their desk or they see something over the Internet.

2, While not asking for a job, you must ask them if they could connect you with at least two other folks from their network you can talk with. Asking for other people’s names/contact info is less threatening to them and shows your true desire to ask for their advice and counsel.

3. Always ask the person if they would provide short e-mail introductions to their contacts. This will give you instant credibility with those you will be contacting. They know the person you networked with, and that person has said what a nice guy you are, etc.

4. Meet your network contacts at places and times convenient for them. Have them suggest a spot, and they will feel more confortable.

5. Always e-mail them after your networking meeting thanking them for their advice and potential contacts. Also, ask them if you could stay in contact with them periodically and maybe meet again at some later point.

6. When you first connect with your networker’s contacts, make sure to reference the person’s name and what a nice person he/she is. This will connect you with that person as the new contact decides whether he/she has time to network or will be able to provide you with an informational interview.

7. Repeat the same processes with every person that becomes a part of your network. Be patient and don’t be concerned the person does not get back to you right away. He/she may be extremely busy, and they may value your true patience with them.

8. Additionally, always let the people you meet with know you are more than willing to help them network or get connected with your contacts if they, at some point, look for a new position. Because remember: A fantastic networker understands that connecting is not a one-way street. Providing two-way support will show your willingness to go the extra mile and will probably be memorable to your “network.”

9. One last to do: I encourage you become active in a relevant industry association as part of your current position at work. This will give you visibility in the association, and you could personally meet a lot of folks who might be able to help you in the future.

Networking has been the only way I found my last two corporate positions and have stayed an integral part of my resilient career strategies until I retire to the beaches of Hawaii.

Take care my resilient friends!

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

O.K. Nearly all of us have made mistakes that have changed our lives – negatively and surprisingly positively. Have you ever said something to someone you wish could have been taken back? Have you not given your teenagers a chance to explain themselves before going off the deep end? Have you blown up at work because job pressures have reached a boiling point?

Whatever the circumstance, we have all been there and done that at least a time or two in our lives. But has a mistake led you to resiliently change your behavior, so you’ve learned something from it? Probably so. That is what I call learning to overcome obstacles by thinking just a bit differently – and resiliently.

Circumstances Should Not Consume Us

I suggest the point is we can’t let circumstances consume us no matter what those challenges may be. Many of us, for example, have gone through layoff challenges in this perfect storm economy or have been over-burdened at work because of extra duties added with valued colleagues being let go.

Should we feel down at least momentarily? Of course. Should we lose our confidence for the moment because very challenging things have come to our doorstop?

While I hope not but we are, again, only human. I made the mistake of blaming myself after my layoff even though I was told I was one of the top performers at my company. I also made a mistake initially thinking that I just had one course of action to try to find the same type communications executive position I’ve always been successful at in the past.

My additional mistake was letting such circumstances consume me without seeing the true skills and potential I had in this “new” economy. You also may have experienced this, but I did a lot of soul-searching after I figured out the types of jobs I was accustomed to were just not there – or at least not readily available – anymore.

I Did Not See My Life Gifts or the Broad Picture…

So where was I going to go and what were my next options. To be honest, I just did not know at first. Should I continue down the same employment path as before or should I do something else? Well, what I decided is an example that I suggest you consider as you move down your unique career and life journey.

Re-Looking at Your Personal Brand is Critical

I looked extremely hard at my personal brand and what I truly loved to do in life. I want to retire some day in Hawaii but that is not going to happen any time soon. So how should I resiliently use my many talents in life to continue being reasonably successful in life?

What about you? How are you recovering from possible mistakes – at least those that momentarily hurt your confidence personally and professionally? Are you letting them consume you without seeing the possible upside?

After a lot of reflection, I decided to use my gifts as a writer and speaker to help others with their shared desire to have a happy life and very resilient future. But how could I do this?

For my health, I started to write this blog to keep my writing talents sharp and my skills in talking with people fine-tuned. It was a Godsend and a true revelation…my common-sense resiliency strategies hit the right cord. I used my personal work resiliency moments and life challenges as a person with a disability (Cerebral Palsy) to help provide – as many of you have highlighted – real life vignettes that show how all of us can stay resilient.

While I now have more than 2.5hits on this blog, and have talked with organizations and individuals worldwide, the point is that I needed to re-invent the way I thought about myself leading me to a very resilient mindset. Turning a negative into a positive.

That has helped me maintain my confidence, stay persistent and be truly patient as I find ways to spread the resiliency message to (very, very humbly) millions of great folks like you.

Never Limit Yourself

The additional point: Please never limit yourself or let any mistake consume you to where you do not see your true potential – not only at work but in life. If I would have stayed the typical course, I’d still be out of work with much reduced confidence and a sense of diminishing hope. Now, I have a resiliency business that is so gratefully taking off. Despite my layoff mistakes initially, I looked at my self hard, determined what I absolutely wanted to do in life and developed a plan to get me there.

So, if you have made life or career mistakes or are facing other significant challenges, I suggest you never give up believing in yourself, your resilient attitude or the rock-solid values you live by everyday. While I personally went through my “black hole” after the very agonizing layoff, I found the resilient formula to be happy and healthy in my life.

Understand your personal brand and confidently go to where you want to be. I know you can have even more success than me if you turn those potentially negative circumstances into something terrific. Go for it and you’ll not worry so much about not not being perfect – like the rest of us.

The journey is  exhilarating!

by Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

In this sometimes hectic and challenging world, many of us can lose sight of what is important in life. Family, friends – and truly liking yourself more times than not can be critical in maintaining our healthy resiliency throughout our lives.

I am sure you know this, but do you nearly always apply it? I have not in some points of my life and my belief in myself has suffered.

Sure, all of us want to make a good living and have some recognition that we are successful in life. But, in the long run, if we focus too much on making a buck and trying to increase our happiness through material things, life’s resilience will ultimately decrease substantially.

This is definitely and absolutely not a preaching exercise for me. I’m the first one to admit that I am materialistic and like to live an upper middle class lifestyle that my family is use to. But as I’ve gotten older – I am now nearly 51 – I’ve come to understand better that my life’s happiness and resilience does not rest if we get a new sports car or a condo in Hawaii.

Like me, you’ve probably aspired to the “good things” in life as you define them. Are you happier and more fulfilled that you’ve become a senior marketer instead of a marketer, or a director of something instead of a manager? Or, you may be looking for your next great work adventure. When you get your new job will you be any happier except for the money angle? I’d suggest probably not.

Money and income, of course, are very important and necessary incentives. But, except for not worrying about money as much, will the new job bring you that consistent happiness you want? Maybe in the very short term for both, but probably not for the long haul unless you keep a healthy perspective of life.

Before starting my inspirational speaking and writing business worldwide, I was on that same “success path.” I thought being a senior this or director that would make me happier with my life – and especially for myself.

Well, when I was laid off last year from my “perfect” communications director dream job because of the economy, I finally understood what was truly important. While I had to “job recover” from the layoff, my continued happiness and fulfillment came more from believing in myself. That I could recover with the help of my mind, my wonderful family, and my friends all over the world. I hope you think along the same lines for yourself…

This is when I realized – which you hopefully have already done in your life – that I can get sidetracked with all the things I think are critical to my happiness. The most important realization for me: That believing I could successfully make it after the layoff in a slightly different way with the support of my family and friends was the key.

It has made such a difference for me and I know it can for you – no matter your situation.

I now have developed a career and life resiliency website – award-nominated with more than 2.5 million of you good folks reading my articles. It is so humbling. This also led me to talking worldwide about resiliency to individuals and groups, and developing resiliency materials and videos that can help you down your successful resiliency journey.

So the next time you think that a particular “buy,” traveling somewhere, or a more status-oriented organization title may increase your happiness in the long run, I suggest you rethink what is truly important and inspiring in your life.

More than likely, your happiness will not be driven by that new sports car, house or great tour through Mayan ruins. It will be something closer to home and your heart – believing and understanding yourself. If you think this “important way,” I would bet your happiness and fulfillment will increase no mater if you are a Fortune 500 CEO, or looking for their next great work adventure in life.

While life is not perfect, I believed and it is amazing how much happier my life is today. I hope it can be the same for you.

Until next week, thanks for your support in my resilient journey!