by Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net
All of us have daily challenges and some weeks are far more stressful than others. To effectively deal with my career and life ups and downs, I periodically ask myself this resiliency question: What makes me the happiest about myself for that particular moment?
I think all of us should step back once in awhile and ask this “happy” question. Understanding yourself better will allow you to successfully manage those “stress obstacles” that inevitable come up in all our lives.
- Is it something great you have accomplished at work?
- Is it that you remembered to kiss your wonderful spouse when in the morning?
- Is it that you’ve effectively handled a typical challenge from my teenager?
- Is it that you’ve thought about positive things about yourself that day without sweating the small stuff?
- Is it successfully overcoming significant and truly challenging circumstances, so you can have peace with yourself?
I have found resiliency is more than just dealing with the big things in life – a death of a family member, losing one’s job or dealing with many other family or work situations. It is sometimes the smaller things we do everyday that make us feel good about ourselves and able to adapt successfully when unforeseen events happen.
In saying this, however, all of us have those big moments that show our true grit and resilience as a person. While I’ve had a lifelong physical disability (Cerebral Palsy), I’ve always walked independently without any aids like a cane. Well, unfortunately, no more. I am now using a cane on those days by back doesn’t feel so good.
While this may seem a small step, it does point out that sometimes all of us need to adapt to things we never want in our lives. To stay happy, fulfilled and continue living a normal life, I’ve had to make such adjustments that I would not have done even two months ago.
The point is you never know what is going to happen to you at work and in life. Being adaptive and understanding what makes you ultimately happy will be a resilient difference for you moving forward. Those big – and small – challenges still may hurt but you’ll definitely see yourself in a more resilient light!
My resiliency challenge for you this week is to do one thing that makes you happy, which has been off your radar screen for awhile. Maybe it is kissing your spouse or actually having a meaningful conversation with one or all of your children. Or it may be helping a co-worker with a work project even though you are not assigned to do it.
These are actions within your control and are easily doable if only you give a small portion of your time. For me, my resiliency biz is going very well, and I need to spend time understanding that my true happiness depends on continuing to be independent. If a cane helps me with this, it’s O.K.
Finding your happiness threshold will allow you to be the great person that you are – and not worry as much about parts of your life not always within your total control. Building such resiliency and inner-feeling of good inside will allow you to stay happy even when things are not always going exactly as you had hoped.
Take care my friends until next week, and I hope you have a resilient – and happy – day!