By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

Our lives and careers are very serious business. We go about our days with stout determination that success will definitely stay with us. That is, if we only work that extra hour, finish that project way ahead of schedule, or continually focus on completing task after task until their completed – no matter what…

No matter what, you say…isn’t there something else in life to shoot for?

National studies show having “fun” in your life is extremely important to our health and is sometimes a missing ingredient for many of us. One study suggests that “not finding the time away from the office,” could dramatically hurt our successful career and life path.

The message I suggest you think about and one I haven’t always followed: if you don’t step away from the office awhile, turn off the computer after the 50th job application filled out, forget to kiss your spouse, or love your wonderful kids and pets, you could become burned out and have out-of-control stress.

None of us want that – no matter how focused we are on our careers or other passions in our lives. To stay resilient, happy and fulfilled, we need to enjoy life and find those “sweet spots” that make us happy.

I say this because I need to hear it. In starting my own motivational speaking business, I have spent 60 to 80 hours a week at least thinking about work in some way or another. While each of our circumstances are unique, you also may be thinking about work as you sip a tall cool one. Or, you are at your son’s baseball game physically but mentally thinking about work – or finding your next great work adventure.

Why is that? I’d love to get your comments. From my view, it is at least partially because our world now lives through a 24/7 news cycle. We are nearly always a click away from checking e-mail, or trying to finish that report online, or finding something about anything. All of us are connected through the Internet, smart phones, etc., etc., no matter if we want it or not.

I think this “24/7 lifestyle” we lead helps us always stay too focused on the serious business of life and career – as we forget to take a deep breath or two. We don’t do this intentionally…there’s just a lot of serious stuff on our plate and fun can wait.

Well, it can’t unfortunately.

Another national survey showed that stress levels of those employed or looking for work are off the charts these days. Again, we are in serious times, but when was the last time you went to the lake and skipped rocks across the water’s surface? Had a quiet brew with a friend at a coffee shop with your phone and computer turned off?Set aside time for yourself and maybe finish that jigsaw puzzle that’s been on that card table downstairs for what seems like years?

Or, even more importantly, setting aside time with your significant other to do something fun and spontaneous for just the two of you. Maybe going to an antique shop? Staying for a night at a special bed and breakfast? Or, holding each other’s hands watching the sun set?

A healthy resilience is not just being in “your serious mode” all the time.

Fun can be a very unique experience. I suggest spending the next 15 minutes listing some of the fun you could be having if you weren’t so involved with your career or business. Then – tonight – share it with your significant person and ask the person to jot down a few bits of fun.  Share and find additional ways to stay happy and fulfilled. Come on, do it – for your sake.

For me, my fun is spending time finding antiques with my wife – with my iPhone off. Or, going out for a quiet dinner at a place we’ve never been to before. Or, cuddling with our two dachies or “weiner” dogs and loving them without worrying about my next e-mail message. Or, traveling to some exotic place and walking on a secluded beach where there is no Internet. Can you imagine that?

I’m not an old-fashioned guy, but I think we need to simplify and have a bit of fun for our health’s sake. Right now, I’m going to turn off my computer and phone, and take a ride in my boy toy – otherwise known as my Mustang GT. My “pony” and I are going to park next to a lake and watch the gentle waves as my spirit is refreshed.

I suggest you need to find your own fun and “sweet spots.” And, guess what? By allowing yourself time for such things, you’ll be more energized and successful with the more serious and mundane parts of your world.

It is amazing how your world can change if you incorporate fun back into your life…mine sure did for the absolute better!

Please be looking for new video vignettes and e-books on resilient strategies for you on my web site very soon. I also will be adding an additional national radio interview I did in the last couple weeks.

Thanks, again, for your support and take care.

I have been having Internet access challenges the last couple days since a severe thunderstorm hit a couple nights ago. My ISP provider will be fixing it by late Tuesday.

I will post a new article after that. Sorry for the inconvenience…

By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net

Sometimes you have to take a calculated chance or two in your life and career offering a new/different way to use your unique and tremendous talents. The key for me has been to not always settle for what’s easy but open a little-used door or two to find what my potential could really be.

What about you? How have you tried to unlock your rusty-hunged door or two to find your true life gifts?

When I was laid off last year and not focusing well on which way to turn, my mental resilience and confidence were at a defining crossroads. I was let go from a company imploding from the economic crisis, but which had said I was “essential” and a “rock star.” I was working on all cylinders at a corporate communications executive position that allowed me to use my writing, speaking and interpersonal skills to truly make a difference for employees.

So what did I do wrong? Well, absolutely nothing! But my mind – at least for a moment or two – could not figure this out. Whether in your personal or work life, I know you’ve been down that road once or twice.

After some intense personal reflection, I thought of various directions to go. I could continue to feel sorry for myself and spin like a top not knowing which way to turn. I could continue to exclusively seek jobs in my chosen communications field that have proven to be very successful for me in the past. Or, I could look at my personal brand very hard and have a “heart to heart” with myself about what I wanted to passionately do for the rest of my life/career.

That’s when I decided to develop a personal business plan to use my range of talents in a more unique way and not just settle for the jobs I’ve had in the past. Consequently, I have very humbly developed my own own very successful worldwide resilient speaking, writing and consulting business.

My web site – http://resiliencyfirst.com – has surpassed 2 million viewers in a little more than a year. I am amazed, lucky and so gratified. I also will be leading a team of worldwide doctor and professionals on an international resiliency study. I’ll tell you more about that in upcoming weeks…

If you are in a similar career or life-changing situation, I suggest not always settling for what comes up or what you know you can do. Find a way to use your unique abilities to give you the opportunity to give you what you want.

You might say: “Steve, that’s easy for you to say because you perfectly fit into your new resilient world. You are naturally resilient because of your successfully  adapting to your lifelong physical disability (Cerebral Palsy), and your noted speaking and writing talents.” This, of course has helped…

To be honest, though, I am no different from you. In fact, you may have much more talent and potential than me. I have just understood my “chance,” and formulated and acted on a plan to make it a success. I also did not settle.

The word “settle” is not one of my favorite words when it comes to my career or life – I hope it is the same way with you. As we successfully navigate through this challenging economy, many friends of mine have had to settle for a new job they may not have necessarily taken if times were better. Other friends have had to settle for a deteriorating work situation with cuts at their company by as much as 75 percent.

Don’t get me wrong: Folks need to do whatever it takes to stop or avoid collecting unemployment checks. But settling can open up an entirely different can of worms when it comes to your confidence, belief in yourself and your passion for the future.

The lesson I suggest you ponder is what I’ve learned: Please don’t think you don’t have options – your skills and strengths have made you very successful so far. Find a way to take advantage of your situation whether you are employed or still looking for your next great work adventure. Take that calculated chance.

Too often in the past I’ve sold myself short and taken what I could get. I am 50 now, and I know it is time for me to re-look at what’s best for me.

What is truly best for you?

There’s no way you want to stay or accept a dead-end job, and spend the next few years lamenting how your skills are not being utilized to the fullest. As my resiliency example shows, you need to stick to your strengths, carve out your unique role and make a difference for the most important and terrific person in your life – You!

This calculated chance and belief has given me new life, direction and confidence over the last year or so. I know you can have the same success. Please just believe that you are so much more special than you always think  - that is, as long as you BELIEVE!!! Then, you won’t have to settle for a life and career controlled by other folks’ agendas.

Taking a hold of your life and not settling also will have an amazing consequence. Folks at work and in your personal life will see your confidence as never before. And, guess what? You’ll start seeing yourself in the same light. Wow! See what not settling can do for you…

I ask again: Are you taken a calculated chance or two in your life now offering you a new/different way to use your unique and tremendous talents? Unlock your tremendous potential and take a chance in yourself….

Until next week, thanks so much for making my blog one of the top resiliency and career/life advice sites in the world.

I have produced 12 new video vignettes about how my life resiliency lessons may help you overcome a few bumps in your road. You’ll see them soon on my this site courtesy of my great video friends at Location Images/iDreamTV – http://www.idream.tv/. Check them out…they are fantastic!