By Steve Beseke, Doctor of Life Resiliency, beseke1@earthlink.net, steve.beseke@resiliencyfirst.com (Please take a look at my new resiliency e-books at www.resiliencyfirst.com)
As nearly all of us have found in our own unique orbits, life and work mistakes can have profound effects on our family and the fabric of who we are as a person. A gifted colleague of mine pointed out recently that each of us makes 10s of thousands of routine and complex decisions each day. Even if we make mistakes or misjudgments on as little as 1 percent of these thoughts, we can rack up 100s of small or more significant mistakes on a daily basis.
When I first heard these numbers, I was simply astounded and a bit of intimidated by the volume. As I thought about them further, though, I realized mistakes our inevitable no matter if you are a CEO of one of the top Fortune 500 companies orr someone like you and me.
You probably crossed the finish line on this before me, but I finally realized: Whether we make mistakes large or small, it is how react to them through our resiliency, adaptability, honesty and integrity that will help us move forward successfully in our lives and/or careers.
Circumstances Should Not Consume Us
While I have a very wonderful 27+-year marriage, we’ve definitely made our share of mistakes along the way. But we’ve worked through them, moved forward and have not allowed any to stop us from enjoying life.
You have probably been in the same type of circumstance in one way or another. Mistakes are inevitable, but it is truly digging deep to use our personal brand and having a heart-to-heart with ourselves that will allow us to minimize any damage in our personal lives – or at work.
Many of us, for example, have gone through layoff challenges in this perfect storm economy – or have been over-burdened at work because of extra duties added with valued colleagues being let go.
Should we feel down at least momentarily? Of course. Should we lose our confidence for the moment because of very challenging circumstances coming to our doors? While I hope not, we are only human.
Mistakes happen to all of us. Too often, though, we misidentify them as our mistakes when we did not have as much control over the situations as originally thought. This happens a lot when there are extraordinary stressful times at work.
Does this mean you are any less of a person, or your top-notch skills have diminished? Not…
I made the mistake of blaming myself after my layoff 2+ years ago – even though being told I was one of the top performers at my company. More than 90 percent were ultimately laid off because of the worsening economy…I did not have as much control as I thought despite, humbly, my rock star performance.
Whether it is a layoff, not reaching the profit margin the Board of Directors expect or rarely being able to have a meaningful conversation with your 16-year-old “drama queen” daughter. Sometimes all of us make the mistake of beginning to doubt ourselves and the skills that have made us so successful at work and in life.
I also made a mistake after the lay off of thinking I just had one course of action to try to find the same type corporate communications executive position I’ve always been successful in the past.
My biggest mistake, however, was letting such circumstances consume me without seeing the true skills and potential I had in this “new” economy.
How are you reacting to your own unique life circumstances?
You also may have experienced this, but I did a lot of soul-searching after I figured out the types of jobs I was accustomed to were just not there – or at least not readily available – anymore.
I Did Not See My Life Gifts or the Broad Picture…
Do you see your true gifts and talents? Most of us make the mistake of seeing what is “inside the box” and only going for the easier low-hanging fruits of life.
I was there after the lay off. So where was I going to go and what were my next options. To be honest, I just did not know at first. Should I continue down the same employment path as before or should I do something else?
What if I make a mistake?
Well, what I decided is an example that I suggest you consider as you move down your unique career and life journey – whether you are employed or in transition.
I moved outside the box quite dramatically.
I did not make the mistake to continue rehashing the past. As you should whether employed or not, I looked extremely hard at my personal brand and what I truly loved to do in life. I want to retire some day in Hawaii, but that is not going to happen any time soon.
So how should I use my many talents in life to continue being reasonably successful in my work – and, most of all, happy?
How are you doing?
After a lot of reflection, I decided to use my gifts as a writer and speaker to help others (like you) with the shared desire to have a happy life/work and very resilient future. But how could I do this?
For my health, I started to write this blog to keep my writing talents sharp and my skills in talking with people fine-tuned. I did not think many would read it, but…
It was a God-send and a true revelation…my common-sense resiliency strategies hit the right cord with individuals and corporations. I used my personal work resiliency moments and life challenges as a person with a lifelong physical disability (Cerebral Palsy) to help provide – as so many of you have appreciated worldwide – real life vignettes showing how all of us can stay resilient.
Resilient strategies (like adaptability, perseverance, persistence and patience) that you can use every day to make your world more rewarding and just a bit less stressful…
While I now have more than 3 million viewers worldwide who have visited my much more enhanced web site (www.resiliencyfirst.com) and spoken to more than 100 groups, the point is I needed to re-invent the way I thought about myself leading me to a very resilient mindset.
How do you think about yourself? Low-hanging fruit or something more inspired…
I didn’t make the mistake to only see me for what I was professionally for nearly 30 years, I stretched myself to the point my resiliency business is on the edge of something very humbly big.
This has helped me maintain my confidence, stay persistent and be truly patient as I keep finding ways to spread the resiliency message to (very, very humbly) millions of great folks like you.
If you’d like me to talk with your corporation or group, please contact me at beseke1@earthlink.net 0r 651-341-9826.
Never Limit Yourself
The additional point: Please never limit yourself or let any mistake make you spin to where you begin to not see your true potential – not only at work but in life.
If I would have stayed the typical course, I may still be out of work with much reduced confidence and a sense of diminishing hope. Now, I have a resiliency business that is so gratefully taking off. Despite my perceived layoff mistakes a couple years ago, I looked at what I absolutely wanted to do in life and developed a plan to get me there.
So, if you have made life or career mistakes or are facing other significant challenges, I suggest you never give up believing in yourself, your resilient attitude or the rock-solid values you live by everyday.
While I personally went through my “black hole” after the very agonizing layoff, I found the resilient formula to be happy and healthy in my life and career. You can, too.
Understanding your personal brand and confidently going where you want to be. I know you can have even more success than me if you only believe and find ways to move forward from your life or work mistakes.
I will talk with you next week, and I hope you are staying resilient despite the possible missteps and challenges all of us inevitably face. Again, please take a look at my work and life resiliency e-books at www.resiliencyfirst.com.
Stat resilient, my friends!