By Steve Beseke, Doctor of Life Resiliency and Workplace Educator at Lennick Aberman Group (Please check out my latest work and life resiliency e-books at www.resiliencyfirst.com)

The word, “hindsight,” is used a lot by many of us who think we could have done something differently (usually better) in life or at work. Then, of course, circumstances would have been more advantageous for us, or at least something should have happened differently we think would have benefited us just a little more. Right? Well…

Like me, I am sure you can think of at least a few hindsight examples in your own life and career that you might have done differently. This, however, can lead you down a slippery road.

I’ve been thinking about such “woulda, coulda, shouldas” recently as my health has turned south just a bit to where a couple back operations will be needed in the next few months to allow me to be close to “Steve normal” again.

Should I have had similar operations 10 years ago? Would the right foot orthotic I am wearing now made a significant difference if only I had got it earlier in life? Could I have been better to myself?

I wrote an article a couple years back that explored the “W,C, S” in all of us. Have you ever thought in your career or life: “What could I have accomplished in my life if only…,” or, “I should have taken this direction but didn’t,” or, “If only I would have made this decision, my career and life might be different. 

All of us face these “woulda, coulda, shouldas” throughout our lives. There are decisions I have made that I sometimes regret and opportunities missed because I did not see them. But I have never let those moments –  including my momentary health issues now – define me. There have been countless other times I have made the right calls in my life and career and benefited immensely from them.

Hindsight is really about how we behave – with ourselves. We did what we thought best at the time and we can’t look back. If we do, our self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth might travel down that windy road of “woulda, coulda, shouldas.”

 I’ve been able to jump over these obstacles in the road because I try very hard to stay in the present and not look back. A friend of mine said of himself: “Looking back has always been a challenge for me because I nearly always paint myself in less resilient light and see more negativity than not.”

As I’ve talked with thousands of good folks like you each week, I sense that many of you also sometimes focus on such life challenges or negatives.  Let’s face it: We all do at some points in our lives. 

The key I have found is not letting these past moments torment you moving forward. Instead, all of us should celebrate the wonderful resilience that makes us very successful and worthwhile to all those within our orbit.

 Staying resilient, especially during challenging times personally or professionally, can be very hard 

Like me, you might be going through a health issue, possibly a career challenge, or know someone very dear who is fighting through life’s ups and downs.

For me, and maybe you, such challenges affect how we like ourselves, and the confidence to look past those inevitable obstacles. Whether we are struggling with our health, at our jobs, or continue trying to be successful in our personal relationships, the past can sometimes affect how we react to our future.

On a personal level, I’ve had to deal with a life-long physical disability (Cerebral Palsy), and it has caused me to lose confidence many times in my life. While I don’t see my disability now as an insurmountable negative, it can challenge how I view myself if I am not careful.

Especially during these winter months and my current health obstacles, I just have to be very disciplined when walking on snow or ice or I may lose my balance and fall.

 All of us have our own set of unique circumstances, and I don’t talk about my disability to seek your empathy. I do bring my life up because it shows we need to balance our perceived negatives in a way that allows us an avenue to be successful – not dwelling on the “woulda, coulda, shouldas” too often.

 One life strategy I have found to overcome such life or career obstacles is to compartmentalize my difficult moments. 

This might work in your own unique life situations. You may want to try shutting/locking a particular compartment door in your mind for awhile if a perceived negative or past burden becomes too much to handle. You can’t avoid the door again but you can compensate by finding another part of my life going well – whether it is life or career related.

One way I am overcoming in addition to my fantastic family’s support: I’ve joined this terrific behavioral advice firm, Lennick Aberman Group – www.lennickaberman.com. This is allowing me to see such a bright and wonderful future in offering more of my resilient programming/messaging worldwide.

Such “other compartments” have helped build my confidence back up again where I can deal with that troubling health door. Unduly losing confidence in my future because of this health occurrence has been a creaky door that I’ve dead bolted these days.

What about you? Finding your new or existing “doors” to prop open might be the best resilient gift you can give yourself. Such pathways like sharing a quiet and gentle moment your wonderful spouse or significant other, or prying open that stubborn door of finding something to do in common with your teenager…this list can go on and on.

Then, 10 years from now, you won’t be kicking yourself because you could have done this or should have done that.

I’m having a great life, and I am not kicking myself that I could have done this or should have done this with my health. If I would have done something earlier, it might have potentially worked out less promising than my upcoming procedures this year.

There are no guarantees that the “wouldas” would have been any better for any of us.

The piece I also have learned and I hope you see for yourself, too… Never look back and I say, “I should have done this.” Instead, look forward and say, “I believe the best is yet to come in my life.”

This gives you – and me – the sense of hope that the “W, C. S” can never take away!

Thanks so much for your continued readership! Please, again, check out my latest work and life e-books at www.resiliencyfirst.com.

Photo By: j doso

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hindsight is really about how we behave – with ourselves. We did what we thought best at the time and we can’t look back. If we do, our self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth might travel down that windy road of “woulda, coulda, shouldas.”

 

I’ve been able to jump over these obstacles in the road because I try very hard to stay in the present and not look back. A friend of mine said of himself: “Looking back has always been a challenge for me because I nearly always paint myself in less resilient light and see more negativity than not.”

 

As I’ve talked with thousands of good folks like you each week, I sense that many of you also sometimes focus on such life challenges or negatives.  Let’s face it: We all do at some points in our lives.

 

The key I have found is not letting these past moments torment you moving forward. Instead, all of us should celebrate the wonderful resilience that makes us very successful and worthwhile to all those within our orbit.

 

Staying resilient, especially during challenging times personally or professionally, can be very hard.

 

Like me, you might be going through a health issue, possibly a career challenge, or know someone very dear who is fighting through life’s ups and downs.

 

For me, and maybe you, such challenges affect how we like ourselves, and the confidence to look past those inevitable obstacles. Whether we are struggling with our health, at our jobs, or continue trying to be successful in our personal relationships, the past can sometimes affect how we react to our future.

 

On a personal level, I’ve had to deal with a life-long physical disability (Cerebral Palsy), and it has caused me to lose confidence many times in my life. While I don’t see my disability now as an insurmountable negative, it can challenge how I view myself if I am not careful.

 

Especially during these winter months and my current health obstacles, I just have to be very disciplined when walking on snow or ice or I may lose my balance and fall.

 

All of us have our own set of unique circumstances, and I don’t talk about my disability to seek your empathy. I do bring my life up because it shows we need to balance our perceived negatives in a way that allows us an avenue to be successful – not dwelling on the “woulda, coulda, shouldas” too often.

 

One life strategy I have found to overcome such life or career obstacles is to compartmentalize my difficult moments.

 

This might work in your own unique life situations. You may want to try shutting/locking a particular compartment door in your mind for awhile if a perceived negative or past burden becomes too much to handle. You can’t avoid the door again but you can compensate by finding another part of my life going well – whether it is life or career related.

 

One way I am overcoming in addition to my fantastic family’s support: I’ve joined this terrific behavioral advice firm, Lennick Aberman Group – www.lennickaberman.com. This is allowing me to see such a bright and wonderful future in offering more of my resilient programming/messaging worldwide.

 

Such “other compartments” have helped build my confidence back up again where I can deal with that troubling health door. Unduly losing confidence in my future because of this health occurrence has been a creaky door that I’ve dead bolted these days.

 

What about you? Finding your new or existing “doors” to prop open might be the best resilient gift you can give yourself. Such pathways like sharing a quiet and gentle moment your wonderful spouse or significant other, or prying open that stubborn door of finding something to do in common with your teenager…this list can go on and on.

 

Then, 10 years from now, you won’t be kicking yourself because you could have done this or should have done that.

 

I’m having a great life, and I am not kicking myself that I could have done this or should have done this with my health. If I would have done something earlier, it might have potentially worked out less promising than my upcoming procedures this year.

 

There are no guarantees that the “wouldas” would have been any better for any of us.

 

The piece I also have learned and I hope you see for yourself, too… Never look back and I say, “I should have done this.” Instead, look forward and say, “I believe the best is yet to come in my life.”

 

This gives you – and me – the sense of hope that the “W, C. S” can never take away!

 

Thanks so much for your continued readership! Please, again, check out my latest work and life e-books at www.resiliencyfirst.com.