By Steve Beseke, beseke1@earthlink.net, steve.beseke@resiliencyfirst.com
Too often in today’s world I think we are less satisfied with ourselves than ever – no matter how good we have it or the life or career setbacks we have…
This was recently shown so wonderfully by an inspiring college athlete who I will be talking about in a moment.
We may have sadly lost a personal relationship very dear to us, got unexpectedly laid off from a “dream job” without truly knowing why, not able to earn the next promotion that would mean a nice bump in pay/prestige, or just not feeling totally happy with ourselves even though we have accomplished nine out of 10 actions this week in great form.
All of us have been down one of those unexpected paths that have tested our resilience. After all, it’s life and there is no script.
A fan on this site told me recently I may talk a bit too much about a part of my life I am rarely satisfied with – my lifelong physical disability (Cerebral Palsy.)
He may be right in some instances. But I only use my stories as examples of how all of us have to deal with our unique obstacles – what ever they may be. Absolutely never to show me in the best light…
Because you see: My physical challenges may absolutely pale in comparison to some of your life obstacles in our great world. Your unique life circumstances you have had to adapt, persist, persevere, and stay patient while ultimately finding the right paths.
In my 51+ years, I’ve definitely learned one truth. No matter how successful we become in life and career, all of us must deal with such challenges and setbacks – great and small. Our true success comes in applying the discipline of handling such situations effectively.
We cannot get around it: Sooner or later all of us will face an opportunity to test our personal and professional resiliency. To successfully adapt to such moments is such an important key.
I read an article recently about this truly inspiring college athlete named Chad Jones. He had to endure a horrific automobile accident. He, however, is not letting this tragic setback stop him from pursuing his dreams and being satisfied in move confidently forward.
William C. Rhoden, one of my favorite columnists and ESPN Sports Reporters’ commentator, recently wrote about Chad in the New York Times. Part of his fantastic article is below showing how someone is recovering from an unimagined life (and career) setback.
Last year, Chad Jones was on the verge of fulfilling a lifelong dream. A two-sport athlete at Louisiana State University (LSU), he was about to play in the National Football League (NFL).
The NFL’s New York Giants thought Jones, a safety, was just what their secondary needed, and drafted him in the third round.
The 6-foot-3 Jones was also a reliever and outfielder for LSUs baseball team and could probably have played basketball. “Chad is one of those kids who could play anything,” said Giants General Manager Jerry Reese. “He was kind of a freakish athlete. We thought he had a huge upside.”
Then life intervened. Jones, 22, had just returned to New Orleans from a football minicamp in June and picked up his new Land Rover. At 6 a.m., he lost control of the vehicle, which slammed into a pole and flipped over. The two passengers were not injured, but Jones’s left leg was pinned beneath the wreckage.
Eight months later, Jones can recall that morning with clarity. He remembers his friends asking if he was all right. He remembers looking down at his blood-soaked pants and wondering how his football career would be affected.
“I thought I had a broken leg,” he said from New Orleans, where he is rehabilitating. “I thought I was going to miss training camp, but I would be back three games into the season. I’d still have a full season to play. That’s what I was thinking at the time of the wreck.”
Only after conversations with doctors did Jones grasp the gravity of his situation. He had nearly died from blood loss and had nearly lost his leg. He had multiple fractures in both bones in his lower leg, exposing nerves and arteries.
Rehabilitating to a point where he could walk without a limp would be the greatest test of fortitude he had ever faced. “At that point, so many things started running through your head other than football,” he said.
Jones’s father, Al, said that after he and his wife, Patti, recovered from the shock of the news, he reminded his wife about the power of faith. “Yes, I was shaken and nervous — all of those feelings go through you,” Al Jones said. “But I never once thought that it was over. I just believe that Chad is going to be all right.”
When John L. Moran, the lead physical therapist at Southern Orthopedic Specialists in New Orleans, began working with Jones on August 3, Jones was in a wheelchair and could not put weight on his left leg. He began walking in October, jogging on a treadmill in November, and running on the ground just before Christmas.
“There’s been phenomenal progress,” Moran said. “All of the doctors here have been shocked at the rate of his progress.”
Asked for his long-term prognosis, Moran predicted that “if Chad continues to progress at the rate he is, he could see the field in 2012. I really think that’s possible.”
Jones was flown to New York, where he spent a month on his back at the Hospital for Special Surgery while doctors tried to put his leg back together.
The rehabilitation has been excruciating, although at each turn, he has been ahead of schedule. He went from not being able to stand on his own to walking, then walking on a treadmill with a boot, then jogging lightly.
“I see a big difference,” he said. “It may not seem like much for an outsider, but I know what I’m supposed to be doing and what I’m not supposed to be doing.”
The delicate question is whether Jones, whom the Giants placed on injured reserve for a non-football injury, will ever play in the NFL. From the outside, the future seems bleak. Players have had their careers ended by less.
The Giants are planning pragmatically, although Reese is slow to dismiss Jones’s chances.
“Modern medicine and rehab, you never say never,” Reese said. “Being the strong-willed person he is, being the freakish athlete he is, I would never count him out. I’m hoping that he can have a normal life. If he comes back and plays football, that’s just extra for me.”
Jones gives himself two seasons to be back on the field. Way urged him to return to LSU. and complete his degree in sports management, but Jones told him that would have to wait while he pursued football to the fullest.
“I sit down and look at my options: Going to school, doing rehab and trying to play in the NFL,” he said. “I want to play football.”
The guaranteed portion of Jones’s contract had a signing bonus reportedly worth more than $800,000, and the Giants paid him part of his salary even though they were not required to do so. Asked about the challenges of supporting his 3-year-old son and longtime girlfriend, Jones said, “From a financial standpoint, there are questions and red flags everywhere.”
On the other hand, Jones said he was happy “and grateful that I’m alive.” He said the accident had made him mature and a better father and boyfriend.
One minute, a young man sits on top of his small corner of the world; the next minute, fate shatters his dreams with a sledgehammer.
Jones said he refuses to allow that to happen.
“Doctors say it’s up to me, on how hard I train and how bad I want it,” he said. Having one major setback isn’t going to slow me down.”
As we ponder Chad’s story, one point is quite evident: Setbacks happen to all of us no matter if we are 10 or 90…no matter if we our rich, poor or somewhere in-between. I suggest just using Chad’s don’t “slow me down” attitude to keep yourself moving in the direction best for you the next time a setback invades your life.
I know Chad’s courageous and resilient story has already helped me stay more satisfied with who I am. I hope it can do the same for you…
Until next time my friends…thanks, again, for your fabulous support of my resiliency web site and messages. Take care and I hope you are having a resilient day!
Photo By: Jong Soo(Peter) Lee