By Steve Beseke, Consultant and Doctor of Life Resiliency at Lennick Aberman Group. (Please check out my latest work/life resiliency e-books at www.resiliencyfirst.com)

 You are typically very resilient in your work and personal lives. You successfully adapt to most situations out of your control quite nicely. You persevere and persist better than many of us when inevitable challenges get in your way. You are patient and gentle with yourself even when you make professional or personal mistakes. 

Then, something in your life blindsides you to the point that shakes your inner-foundation. The core values and ideas you’ve lived by all your life get severely shaken without you having much say-so in the matter… 

So then where do you go from here?

You might have had a recent break up of a long-term and very dear relationship. After 20 years at the same company moving up the ranks, you are now seen as too expensive to be kept any longer. Your child just had a horrific accident playing a sporting event and she most likely will never walk again.

Being resilient, of course, does not mean you are not going to face possible life-changing challenges. Or, that your fine-tuned resilience that usually allows you to find your right footing suddenly is no where in sight – at least at first.

Many of you around the world have told me of some tragic events you’ve lived through and recovered the best you could. A reader in Europe taking care of his beloved mother, who was in the last stages of Alzheimer’s.  The gentleman from middle America who literally stayed in bed for six months because of his depression of not finding a job for more than a year. The woman from Middle East whose husband had not been seen for month’s because of his political dissent.

Then, there’s me. Known as the Doctor of Life Resiliency, I should be able to handle most any situation. Right? Folks like you look at me to offer an interesting opinion on successful resiliency strategies to get you through those work and life “moments.”

Yes, usually. But then about a month ago my Cerebral Palsy of a 52-year-old body started throwing (almost literally) “concussion grenades” at my walking and life independence. First, losing my balance and hitting a wall quite hard, then losing my balance crashing into a closet door at home hitting my head, next  losing my balance hitting my head against a wood shelf in my daughter’s room causing momentary paralysis and a lot of fear, and most recently smacking my head against a doctor’s linoleum floor causing many stitches in my forehead.

A month to remember and learn for sure.:) At least two concussions, and a lot to understand and assess for me. I don’t mention these things to gain your empathy. You may be dealing with a life moment even more complex than mine.

It’s how I’m trying to battle through the aftermath is something I hope you can take away when your life momentarily goes awry. 

I, firstly, felt extremely sorry for myself, and had many pity hours and days especially after the first couple of spills. This is when my family, friends and work colleagues reminded me consistently of what I should do next. Focus on a medical solution, don’t give up, and see yourself as one of my colleagues called me an “amazing man.”

I didn’t and haven’t given up or settled. That’s my thought for you when times become ridiculously tough with circumstances you cannot ultimately or even partially control.

While there is nothing wrong in using a wheelchair, this is not the moment in my life to sit down. These bad falls happened, but how can I find a way to reasonably make such falls less likely? Not eliminate falling. I have fallen all my life. Just make it less likely for serious falls and a lot of falls.

Doctors, potential back operations and recovery time are most likely in the near future. I, however, am not quitting the dream of walking comfortably for at least the next 25 years without having to rely on a chair 100% of the time.

The point is, and one I suggest you remember the next time the anvil falls on you, there is always a solution better than what you think. Not one that you have to settle for but one offering you the majority say in how you live personally or professionally.

 It can be done…

My recent physical challenges have forced me to think much more about focusing on me. Not just my career, family, friends and colleagues, but me. I used to just get up, dust myself off and try to forget about the fall. From the last month, I learned that if you don’t deal with yourself in the best way possible way, you can’t be as effective with your loved ones or colleagues at work. Sounds so basic, but many of us discount what certain actions/events ultimately mean to us. We are more worried about the short-term…

The all-mighty has shown me a different path that will make my life/career even better. Are you ready the next time “life” happens to you?

I know you can be…if you only believe you can.

I hope you are having a resilient day, and thanks for your continued readership and comments. I truly appreciate the conversation!

Photo By: Lasse Kristensen